Photo by Laura Hervey, November 8, 2019
I’m a mom and a grandmother. My oldest granddaughter is eighteen. When I was eighteen, shame and guilt gripped my heart in a cruel vise. I’d done something I believed didn’t deserve forgiveness. I couldn’t understand how God could still love me. I despised myself for what I’d done. And worse, I believed that what I’d done defined who I was and who I could be.
Still, I clung to the hope of God’s mercy even while I believed I didn’t deserve mercy.
God’s grace made a way for me. Jesus took the punishment I deserved. It’s hard to grasp such unfathomable mercy and grace when you are gripped by self-loathing. It’s even harder to understand and risk everything on the unconditional love of God because Satan will fill your mind with so many lies about God. And only God’s Word can defeat those lies. For you and for me.
One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 1:18: “‘Come now, and let us reason together,’ saith the LORD. ‘Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool’” (KJV).
Here’s the same verse in The Living Bible: “Come, let’s talk this over, says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are as stained as crimson, I can make you white as wool!”
My novel, Scarlet Tears, is the story of a woman named Carly who struggles to believe God would ever want her. In Carly’s eyes her sins are unforgivable, but desperation drives her to flee her old life and to seek a new way of living. She finds sanctuary with a retired English teacher, a woman of faith and hospitality.
But Carly is stuck in her own head, and her thoughts condemn her. I’ve been there many times and so have you.
Yet condemnation is not God’s plan for us. John 3:17 says, “God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it” (TLB). Whenever you feel condemned, remember that God sent Jesus not to condemn you but to save you.
Heavenly Father, help us to accept Your forgiveness—the forgiveness Jesus paid for by His death on the cross. Lord, You know how deeply sorry we are for the things we have done, unspeakable things that lock us in a thought cycle of shame and guilt. Set us free. Cleanse our hearts and minds so we can see You and the wonder of Your unconditional love. Help us to love You in return, to love others, to accept forgiveness and to extend that forgiveness to others. Amen.